With the sad recent passing of preeminent physicist Stephen Hawking, we here at Sungenre have noticed a renewed global interest in cosmology and related disciplines. Sensing an opportunity, we thought we’d compile a comprehensive guide for our readers. But regrettably, we’re not well versed in these sorts of matters. So we delegated the task to Aussie surf garage rockers Sun Sap…
Whilst most of you may know Sun Sap as a group of people playing instruments to produce music, or, a “band”, in other circles we are highly regarded for our expertise in interstellar travel. It is with that subject in mind that we would like to provide our definitive guide on how to successfully travel the outer realms, gaining maximum experience and not losing any appendages along the way.
We feel that with these four steps, even an amateur traveller can know the great jubilation of dancing on the moons of Saturn and return home safely.
Step 1.
Socks. When packing for your journey, always remember to only pack odd socks. As the universe can be a mind-warping reality, it is best to make sure that nothing is too predictable. Odd socks will guarantee that should you begin to become overwhelmed, all you need to do is look at your feet and realise that nothing is what it seems.
Step 2.
The right food. The right food is critical for any type of travel, let alone a trip through the astral planes. A good diet of cheese burgers and cheap tequila will provide you with the sustenance needed to make it home safe and in good shape.
Step 3.
Your vehicle. The mode of transport would have to be the most debated topic when it comes to jetting out through the cosmos. One of the reasons we are held to such high regard when it comes to this topic is that as a band, Sun Sap developed an organic source of power with similar properties to what is known as dark matter. The way we generate this material is by sitting in a circle, holding hands, singing the classic hit “Achy Breaky Heart” over and over again. If sung enough and with the right enthusiasm, a ball of pure energy will appear. This ball can then be added to any vehicle’s normal fuel source and you’re good to go. Just make sure all windows are up tightly and your belts are done up. We have many doubters, but hey, we’re the ones writing the damn article, so it must work… The millennium falcon is also a good option.
Step 3.
A guide. Another critical aspect. Whilst out there swimming through stardust, it is important to have an experienced guide with you at all times. Guides are bloody hard to come by, especially when Sun Sap are drawn to Earth. In such situations, a non-stop playlist of Bootsy Collins, the intergalactic funk master, turned to full volume should suffice.
Step 4.
Black Holes. Stay away. That shit’s crazy and will try to steal your wallet.
Thank you and safe travels.
Editor’s note: Sun Sap’s latest EP, “Sometimes, Always, Never, Maybe” is out now.
